I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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