The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
