We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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