I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
why do cheetos always look like penises
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
