how can u be prego again
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
