He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
it's like iHOP with fire
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
