Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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