I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Randomize
