You can't special order awesome
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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