I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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