Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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