omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
