Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
