thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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