bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
