You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
