This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize