Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
