She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
a search helicopter?!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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