69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
