So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
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