I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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