so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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