After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
