Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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