how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
