We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
