yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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