Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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