in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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