You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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