stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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