alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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