you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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