we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
