i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
