Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
where are my eyebrows?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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