Farmville is her only friend.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
