Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
