so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
