i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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