then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize