Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
