Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
