Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
