you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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