Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
