I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize