She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
