This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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