And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Randomize