return my video game
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize