I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
