she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Four minutes until I can fart!
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize