Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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