You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
