i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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