I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
