can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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