It's like God shit irony all over that family
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
