You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
