All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize