i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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