I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
