My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
