Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
