When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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