he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
