I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
