She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
